GREG GUTFELD: If you're a man, don't let an actor or a Martha's Vineyard elitist tell you how to vote

So last week, fans of Kamala Harris dropped this ad, “Men for Kamala.” And you might want to pop a Midol before you take a look. 

CREATIVES FOR HARRIS AD: I’m man enough to enjoy a barrel-proof bourbon. Meat. Man enough to cook my steak rare. Man enough to deadlift 500 and braid the s*** out of my daughter’s hair. You think I’m afraid to rebuild a carburetor? I eat carburetors for breakfast. I ain’t afraid of bears. That’s what bear hugs are for. I’ll tell you another thing I sure as s*** am not afraid of — women. They want to control their bodies? I say go for it. They want to use IVF to start a family? I’m not afraid of families. I’m man enough to tell you that I cried at “Love Actually,” “Good Will Hunting,” “West Side Story” — that and “Predator.” I’m sick of so-called men domineering, belittling and controlling women just so they can feel more powerful. That’s not how my momma raised me.

I hope there were tampons in the men’s room at that audition. That was as manly as Dylan Mulvany shaving Rachel Levine’s legs. Now, the ad wasn’t authorized by any candidate, but it could have been paid for by Trump because it was about as authentic as Tim Walz’s war record. Although so-called voters were paid actors and not typical actors either, as far as I know, none are successfully waiting tables. Their film credits are rarer than fruit in Brian Stelter’s lunch. But some of those men were so effeminate they asked to be paid $0.80 on the dollar.

A SEXIST WOULD SAY!

Hahaha, not funny. The message was that even real men can vote for Kamala. Which raises the question, if these men are out there, then why make this commercial? I mean, would they need Kamala’s supporters to assure them it’s OK? It’s like Kamala’s your mom, and she’s giving you a note to give to your teacher saying it’s OK for Billy to go on a field trip. Let’s just hope Coach Walz isn’t on the bus. Do you recall any ads telling someone it was OK to vote for Trump or to vote for anyone else for that matter? 

HARRIS CAMPAIGN DEPLOYS BILL CLINTON TO KEY STATES 22 DAYS FROM ELECTION DAY

Recall any ads from the 80s saying that real men are allowed to vote for Reagan? He didn’t need it. He locked down votes for real men, real women, even real chimps. It’s sad that you got to prove these men are actually out there. Kamala’s campaign is like Bud Light trying to win back the alpha males who used to drink it, only this time, instead of beer, it’s the Democratic Party. But the fact that you had to hire actors to pretend they’re blue-collar types who vote for Harris means there aren’t any real ones. Nope. Dems know that real men see through this b*****. 

After all, look at her husband and her V.P. They make Siegfried & Roy look like Ali and Frazier. It’s getting sad at this point. Listen to actress, Jennifer Garner, trying to assure male Kamala supporters that they’re still men.

JENNIFER GARNER: I mean, I’m looking at these beautiful faces, these women and these strong men. God, is there anything sexier than a man who is like, men for Kamala?

Those men are just cheering because they want free Tampax. That video made more scrotums shrink than a urologist with cold hands. Now, the only way Kamala voters are hot is if they’re running a fever. And frankly, you’d have to be delirious to vote for her. And then there’s Obama, sensing trouble, admonishing Black men for not voting for her, blaming it on sexism.

OBAMA CALLS OUT ‘BROTHERS’ APPREHENSIVE TO VOTE FOR HARRIS: ‘YOU’RE THINKING OF SITTING OUT?’

BARACK OBAMA: We have not yet seen the same kinds of energy and turnout in all quarters of our neighborhoods and communities as we saw when I was running. I also want to say that that seems to be more pronounced with the brothers. When you have a choice that is this clear. Part of it makes me think, and I’m speaking to men directly, part of it makes me think that, well, you just aren’t feeling the idea of having a woman as president.

There you go. You’re sexist. I’m surprised you didn’t nag them for not knowing which was their shrimp fork. But Obama, shouldn’t you be back on Martha’s Vineyard? You know, where the Black population is roughly 3%. If he wanted to twist some arms, he should have sent Michelle. But meanwhile, as Dems launched commercials for Castrato, what was Elon Musk launching? New line of robots, a sleek self-driving bus and then a rocket, which he caught on the way down. 

It’s kind of amazing. I mean, think about it. Think about the physics. I mean, that’s like lifting Joy Behar into the stratosphere and then landing her on an aircraft carrier. Except lighter. But here’s a guy who doesn’t need to be told it’s OK to do anything. In fact, they tell him the opposite. And yet look what he gets done. The man literally has a spaceship and it works. The people come back alive. How many people in history could say that? So if you’re looking at men, which side appeals to you more? A bunch of broke actors or a billionaire genius inventor? 

Now, when I watched that Harris ad, I wasn’t embarrassed about being a man because I’m not them. And when I see Musk, I’m not proud of being a man because I didn’t do what he did. He did it. And that’s it. It’s about individuals, not the group. It’s the point that the Dems always miss. Which is why they need actors to play what they think are men, because they don’t know what men are unless they’re a group that they can herd like sheep. And they embarrass themselves doing it like Tim Walz trying to hunt.

Shut up! You know he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s talking through it. But it’s nothing like those weapons of war he claimed he carried into battle, which were actually gelato spoons while he was stationed in Italy. I mean, that was worse than Liz Warren trying to drink a beer, or as her people call it, firewater. But I never know.

I never know.

But they’re always trying to be everything that they’re not, which is regular people. And what’s worse, they don’t like regular people. So if you’re a man, don’t let an actor or a Martha’s Vineyard elitist tell you how to vote. Hell, you don’t even need me to tell you that. You can make up your own decisions. It’s how we get honest elections and spaceships that work.