One of the fun things about an event like Fanatics Fest is that fans come up with all kinds of cool stuff to get signed by their favorite athletes.
I mean, if you’re going to meet former Florida Gators star Tim Tebow, getting a football autographed is a little cliché.
How does a full-sized gator sound?
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Obviously, that was a formerly-alive alligator, but I think those dudes are going to end up with the Gators shrine to end all Gators shrines.
Whenever I see something like this, my head goes right to the logistics. Like, how do you explain that at security? Obviously, there’s no problem, but I’ve been to places where they’re like, “Sir, finish your McDonald’s coffee or throw it away,” so I chug it.
Meanwhile, here come two dudes with something like a giant taxidermied alligator, and as far as anyone can tell, they were like, “Right this way, monsieurs.”
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And what happens after you get Tim Tebow to sign your gator? Do you spend six hours at Fanatics Fest buddy-carrying a dead reptile? I don’t think you’ve got much of a choice.
Those guys would have to pee in shifts, too. You can’t leave it unattended for security reasons, and because I think it would get stolen immediately. I’ve never stolen anything in my life, but if I saw a Tim Tebow-signed alligator unattended, I’d be planning my getaway strategy.
And I’m a UCF fan.
One would have to stay and babysit the autographed gator while the other offloads his morning Big Gulp, then they switch.
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And when it’s time to go home, is that alligator taking an Uber or going on the subway?
Just a logistical nightmare from top to bottom, but one hell of a piece of memorabilia signed by a UF football program legend.